Hi Virtually Readers! Remember when I diagnosed Just Another Chapter Syndrome? This is a another illness that many of you may recognise (and no, it has nothing to do with alcohol). It’s serious and awful, so do try to be sensitive to those who suffer from it in the comment section.
About the disease
It’s defined as ‘an inability to get over a book’. This disease has been around as long as good books, i.e, forever.
Those afflicted may exhibit some of the following:
- Excessive emotional expression, usually crying or shouting.
- An inability to meet anybody without recommending the book to them.
- Insomnia brought on by thinking about the characters
- Deafness caused by loud yelling of ‘I can’t believe it’s over!’ or something of the sort.
- A refusal of reality; this may manifest in the patient calling their siblings by the names of the characters, muttering about swords and knives rather than vegetables, or strange statements like ‘I don’t need to do my homework! I’m the chosen one!’
- Loss of interest in activities such as homework, chores, and socialisation.
- High pitched squealing with other fangirls.
- Mental fixation on the book’s plot of characters
- A desire to hold, stroke, or cry on the book.
As you can see, these symptoms are serious and can last for anything between an hour and several weeks. It’s an illness that comes in bouts, like a cold: it can be caught (the most common method is recommendations.), lasts for a while, then the patient will recover, only to catch the disease again.
Unfortunately, the only way to permanently cure book hangovers is by stopping reading entirely. This is risky and not recommended. However, with patience and wisdom, it can be treated.
- As already mentioned, avoiding recommendations will prevent relapse. This may require the patient to block their ears to avoid wanting to read more.
- Conversely, getting new recommendations and reading another book will cure book hangover, but only temporarily, so beware.
- Joint fangirling can dispel the patient’s hangover blue and help them move on; this is one activity they will always show interest in.
- Make the patient panic about homework/dirty dishes/work so they stop obsessing over their book.
- Distract the patient with smol animals/children.
- Counseling the patient through the stages of grief:
Denial: ‘I can’t believe it’s over.’
Anger: ‘How could the author do this to me?’
Bargaining: ‘I’ll be over this book if there’s another five book series in this world and my favourite character is resurrected.’
Depression ‘I’m going to sit here and think about death a while. The death of my book, that is.’
Acceptance: ‘I finished this book, but at least there are more out there!’
- Patience. In time, new books will come. Get ready for the next hangover. Until then, things will be okay.
Do you get bookish hangovers? What are some symptoms/treatments that I missed? Which books have given you bad hangovers? Do you go through stages of book grief?