Hi Virtually Readers! This post needs no introduction because we’ve all been there. But I do have one announcement:
I GOT A BOOKSTAGRAM ACCOUNT!!! Mainly because I now possess a device which will allow me to post to it, which is obviously thanks to my parents, their generosity, and Christmas. If you have one, you should follow me @virtually_read , but don’t expect me to know what I’m doing with photography, hashtags, or anything in between, because I really, really don’t have a clue. Anyway, onward with the post!
Why You Should Be Reading Right Now
- You’ve got nothing better to do, let’s be honest. Books are amusing and engaging and way more important than all those other things.
- You have no other friends. Books have characters! Characters can be your friends!
- You will be edified. Reading makes you smarter and better and this is proven by science (and also me, always a reliable source).
- For the extrinsically motivated, your SAT scores will show for your efforts.
- Your bookshelf is staring at you and making you feel guilty.
- The fire is lit. Books+fire=perfect combination. (Exhibit A: Fahrenheit 451) (Exhibit B: Nazi German book burning, a la The Book Thief)
- Your eyes need a rest from staring at your screen.
- Everybody on social media is boring.
- You got books for Christmas and you need to read them.
Why You Aren’t Reading Right Now
- You are writing a blog post (this is totally justified)
- For some reason you remember this thing. It starts with H- and ends with –omework.
- The cat needs to be fed. It’s clawing you and meowing incessantly. Reading in such circumstances is, by the way, nearly impossible.
- Your stomach is grumbling too loud for you to focus. The only food in the house is tomato soup, and you don’t want to jeopardise your book’s pristine condition.
- You need to snack on Christmas leftovers.
- It’s dark, but the light switch is all. the. way. across. the. room, dangit.
- You’re snuggling under the covers with that novel when you start getting s o o o s l e e p y …
- Your floor is invisible under everything you’ve chucked on it, and your mother somebody is asking you to tidy it up. (My room is actually not like this at all, and any tidying up is self-imposed)
- Duty calls: Innocent civilian needs rescuing from armed robber.
(And Ways To Change the Sorry Situation)
- Finish the dang blog post, yo! Your characters are calling for you.
- Multitask: read and homework at the same time. This takes several forms: a)reading for homework, b)pretending to read while homeworking, and c)pretending to homework while reading. (Realistically, though, it’s c)
- Use your telepathic powers voice to make someone else feed the cat. Or use telekinesis your hands to feed and read (it even rhymes!) simultaneously.
- Drink the soup with a straw (this is an important lifehack that you can use for a lot of things).
- Finish your snack and return to more important tasks, i.e your book.
- Design a stick that will reach across the room and turn on the light for you, or yell out to the nearest altruistic passerby your sister to do it for you. In the long term, it’s advisable to keep a torch by your bed for such emergencies.
- Read in a cold, bright room so you don’t fall asleep, or leave the book under your pillow so you can inhale it subliminally.
- Lie on the floor with your book and some stuff on top of you so your mother mistakes you you are mistaken for a piece of dirty clothing and can read in peace. (This is literally the best hide-and-seek strategy I have ever employed).
- Let the civilian die and leave the heroism to your characters.
How do you make time for reading? What sucks away your reading time? Do you have the same issues I do. And (shameless self promo) you should totally go and look and my pictures and fawn over my (nonexistent) photography skills then follow me. OBVIOUSLY