This is a very sad story. The fabulous Alyssa suggested I tell it. Note: It’s…embellished. So if you don’t like to hear about destruction and despair and guilt and how I, who everybody thought was perfect and invincible and the epitome of awesome, made a mistake (if you still don’t believe I could make mistakes… *consults chocolate supply*), then don’t read on. Put any other title ideas in the comments! (I can think of several others)
Hopefully your curiosity is piqued by now. So it begins…
Once upon a time there was a family. The bestest, perfectest, most angelic member was called Shar. She loved reading. So her parents bought two marvellous devices which were famed throughout the
kingdom land world. This was because they were gifts from nice people who knew Shar and her siblings liked to read. This was because their number one priority was to make her happy. And indeed, these marvellous devices brought great pleasure to Shar and her somewhat inferior siblings. However, Shar never realised that two terrible acts of folly would once more pluck these kindles wonderful portals to fascinating worlds out of her grasp. About a year after receiving these tributes from her parents friends minions, Shar and her family embarked on an incredible journey to cross a treacherous mountain pass for fun. on a journey to visit all of Shar’s devoted minions. At the end of this journey, Shar had to return home. While she waited for the perfect ride, she read Artemis Fowl War and Peace on her kindle. Soon a nice truck driver reverential carriage driver stopped and offered them a ride. Shar placed her most miraculous device on the seat as she climbed into the front seat. Lively bollywood music portentous Bach played. Out of the corner of her glamourous eye, Shar saw the hand of her dad most loyal father move his hand. Assuming it was in his interests too to take care of Shar’s most wonderful device, Shar pulled herself into the carriage and sat down. No sooner had she done so that she stood up, realising that the most wonderful device,her portal to new worlds, was directly under her butt elegant posterior. She desperately picked up her kindle, searching for signs of the inevitable damage. Alas! the kindle was broken. Harsh jagged lines crisscrossed its fine screen. The text was no longer legible, and ink pulsed gently underneath thee crack. Shar’s first miraculous portal had been destroyed by her own folly!
Six months later, Shar and her family had travelled for days down to the south of
India Shar’s kingdom to visit relatives Shar’s subjects there. They were all blessing their prescence upon a cramped glamorous hotel room. Shar picked up the second wonderful device and unzipped it’s case. Using her supreme powers of navigation, she found her book, then left the kindle in it’s unzipped case and crossed the room to get a drink wave to her adoring subjects. Upon returning, she picked up the case off the shelf she had gently set it upon. Suddenly the kindle slid out and landed with a little click almighty crack upon the hard concrete marble floor. Again, Shar picked up her precious instrument and again crude alas because again, ink was swelling across the screen, harsh black lines creeping like spiders to each side. No pages would turn, no words would change. By her own folly the magical instrument of great renown had been broken destroyed.